Deidara's Bad Day
by ilovemyboys
Summary: After getting his arm blown off by Kakashi's Kumai and meeting up with Zetsu and Tobi, Deidara is teamed up with his new partner. Blood loss plus annoying Tobi equals Deidara not feeling too well.
1. Chapter 1

**Deidara's Bad Day**

_By ilovemyboys_

Chapter 1: New Partner

**Authors Note:** At beginning** bold**=Zetsu's dark side speaking.

* * *

"You can't be serious? Tobi? My partner!"

"**Yes…Sasori has been defeated…Therefore you will need a new partner…"**

"I'm fine on my own," I spat defiantly.

_I don't need anyone, huh!_

"**Not according to our leader…You two will meet us at the closest Akatsuki hideout within the hour…"**

That double-faced creep turned to face me.

"**Unless you don't want your arms put back on Deidara?"**

I gave him a glare.

He turned to Tobi.

"**Tobi…you are to go with him…"**

"Aye aye Master Zetsu!" Tobi flew an arm to his head awkwardly in salute.

_Huh! Whatever…all **I** care about is getting back in time so Kakuzu can put my arms back on…**It hurts like a-**_

"Deidara! I'm ready when you are!" Tobi cried out happily. _**Too**__ happily. _It was then I noticed Zetsu had disappeared, as usual.

"Alright Tobi, let's go," I said gruffly.

"YES SIR DEIDARA!"

_Damn…Why's he gotta be so excited all the time…_

….

We jumped from tree to tree for about five minutes when I began to feel the effects of nausea hit me.

_Damn it, not now…not now…urrr...I **really** wanted my hands right about now. Just to place a cool palm against my forehead…_

"Deidara?"Tobi asked beside me.

"What?" I replied irritably.

_I am **not **dealing with him today…_

"Have you listened to a word I've said, Deidara?"

"No," I replied flatly.

"I knew it! I knew you weren't listening!"

I sighed in annoyance. Abruptly the nausea came back. This time even worse than before. I picked up the speed.

_Gotta get there...soon..._

"Come on Tobi, hurry up!" I called back.

"Yes Deidara!" He replied from behind.

We were making it in pretty good time considering, when light-headedness struck me again like a C1 bomb…

I closed my eyes, panting heavily.

_I should probably stop soon, no! Gotta get there as soon as possible-**Ahhh!…**no...…I feel…so…so-no! Fight it! _

It keeps looming in on me…

_Come on! Ignore it!_

Overtaking me…

_Come on! It's just the effects of blood loss. Some mild light-headedness. _

_My vision starts to blur in and out as my body begins to feel limp...my head droops down on it's own accord...my face feels so fuzzy…I…I-_

"Deidara!" Tobi yelled.

_Huh?_

_SWOOSH!_

_I feel myself falling…falling through the air…what a nice breeze…_

_THUMP!_

_**Ow.**_

_I land…on what I don't know…_

_I can hear some shuffling…_

_Someone is next to me. _

_Gotta get up. _

_Need…strength…...**Ah!** Can't pull myself up…_

_In a few seconds I slowly manage to open an eye and see the clouds above me. Looking over to my side I notice Tobi hovering over me. I think his mouth's moving… _

_I blink a few times, trying to clear away the blurriness when I hear him shouting, "Deidara! Deidara! Wake up!"_

_Everyday sounds return to me gradually…So does my vision..._

"_Tobi?" _I speak barely over a whisper.

"DEIDARA! YOU'RE ALRIGHT!"

"**I'm fine-**GAH! TOBI GET OFF!" I push the exuberant newbie away from me.

"Deidara! What happened? You were jumping and suddenly ahhhh! You go pummeling down!"

"Blood loss…It happens when you loose **both **your arms," I snarl.

"Hehehe…well I wouldn't know I suppose…" he giggles.

"**Shut up."**

"Well…someone's just as happy as ever, _hmm_?"

"I swear Tobi…you say one more word and I'll-"

"Ohhhh! Apples! Deidara look!"

Clenching my teeth I look up at the Apple Tree Tobi's pointing at.

"Look Deidara! Lots and lots of apples! Oh pleaseeeee can we have some?"

_This guy is really starting to get on my nerves…_

"Deidara?...Deidara?...Deida-"

"YES! Eat it already!"

"Yay! Apples for Tobi!" He jumps up and down like a child, then runs up the tree and starts placing the apples in his cloak pocket.

"Should I get you some too, Deidara?" He calls down.

_Huh? Why not? Food will do me some good in this state anyway. _

"Yeah…" I reply.

"Okey-dokey partner!"

I cringe as another wave of dizziness comes over me. _Oh man…my whole body feels faint…not again…_My eyes close shut. _Just gotta close my eyes for a second…_

"Deidara? Hey! Deidara!"

_I immediately feel a few slaps to my cheek, which surprisingly doesn't both me that much. I must be really out of it…_

"Deidara! Stay awake! We gotta go!"

_Damn it Tobi, I know! **Urrrr…**But I can't…stay…conscious…much…longer…_

"It's alright Deidara. Tobi is here! I know! I'll carry you!"

_This blood loss is really starting to-WHAT! TOBI DON'T YOU DARE! **Ahh!** **Damn it! **_

I felt myself being picked up abruptly, increasing all my pain in a second!

_Uhhh..._

_I feel...myself...loosing…con…scious…ness…_

_..._

_Damn you Tobi..._

**BLACKOUT.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Deidara's Bad Day**

_By ilovemyboys_

Chapter 2: New Partner

**Authors Note: **I recommend listing to the song "Teddy Bear's Picnic" on youtube to know how it goes for extra fun! ^_^

* * *

_Oh no!…I gotta get my Senpai to safely! And soon!_

Tobi jumped from tree to tree, carrying his unconscious Senpai in bridal style as he traveled.

"Geez Deidara, you sure are heavy," he giggled, looking down at his partner.

Deidara of course said nothing.

"You sure lost a lot of blood back there Deidara…" Tobi looked down at his Senpai worriedly. "Don't worry! I'll get you to the hideout in no time!" He cheered.

After 10 minutes of jumping across tree branches Tobi began to feel the effects of carrying his Senpai.

"Whew! *pant, pant* Deidara! We need to stop soon. Whew!"-**CRACK**! Tobi looked down wide eyed at the branch he was just standing on break and fall to the ground as he flailed about frantically in the air. "Ah! Ah! Ah!" He shouted as he fell through the branches toward the ground.

"AHHH!"

In a last split second attempt Tobi righted himself and Deidara to land _slightly _more smoothly on the ground as they both landed onto the grass. Tobi landing a bit better than Deidara, who rolled a few feet away, got up with a smile. "Well! That wasn't too-Ahh! Deidara!" Tobi frantically looked around to find his motionless Senpai lying on the ground.

"Deidara!" He clasped his hands on his face as he ran toward Deidara.

Getting down on his hands and knees he lifted up the back of Deidara's head with one hand, while the other felt for a pulse on his neck.

"Please be okay, please be okay, please by okay-Ahh! No pulse! What am going to do! Deidara! Deidara! Wake up! Wake up!" He shook his mentor vigorously.

Deidara's face cringed in discomfort.

Tobi positively beamed."DEIDARA! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

_I'm so glad I didn't cause his death!_

Deidara's face gradually began to relax again.

"Alright," Tobi stood up. "We need to take a break, but Senpai always says not to stay out in the open. Hmmm…" Tobi placed a hand on his chin in thought as he looked around for any places to hide while they both recovered. "Oh nooo…I can't find a single place anywhere…" He moped, slumped over.

"Wait a second!" He bolted upright. "There was a cave on our way here. That's it!" Hahaha! I did it Deidara! I did something useful for you Senpai! Hehehe!"

Picking up Deidara once again Tobi headed back the way they came, humming the theme song to "Teddy Bear's Picnic" as he did so, _"Me and Deidara are going to-find a won-der-ful place…Me and Deidara are going to- find a won-der-ful place…And when we do the wonderful things we'll do are lots of fun because…" _His head bounced back and forth as he sang. But not for long. Sensing charka nearby he stopped abruptly.

"Oh no. Shinobi! Ahh…ahhh…" He looked down frantically at Deidara, then up again at the approaching Shinobi.

"Oh noooo…" He whimpered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Deidara's Bad Day**

_By ilovemyboys_

Chapter 3: Shinobi Trouble! (aka) Tobi Beats Up Everyone!

**Authors Note: **Sorry it took so long guys! I was writing other Deidara Fanfiction stories I got hooked on!

* * *

"Hey! I think I heard something over here!"

"You sure about that? Last time it was just a rabbit and you got us off track just trying to follow its scent!"

"Shut up! I sensed chakra idiot. Not a rabbit!"

A group of four Shinobi walked through the woods. None of them wore headbands, but rather the same camouflage bandana with a red skull printed on it. They also each carried a long ninja weapon. And each wore a look of malice. Definitely the look of outlaws.

Suddenly the one in front, who was the leader, held his hand up for the others to stop.

"What is it _this _time?" The only female member groaned in irritation.

"Something's nearby…" The leader narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Will you cut it out already?" The second man threw his head back in aggravation.

"No!" The leader spat back, daring him to argue as he then listened in silence for any more noise.

Nothing…

Nothing…

Nothing…-

**THWICK! **

A tree branch cracked from behind some nearby trees.

"Who's there!" The leader yelled.

No response.

"Come out or I'll blow you out!" He screamed, holding onto two, small explosives.

"Okay, okay!" A childish voice called from behind a tree in surrender. In seconds an orange masked man with spiky black hair and a long black robe with red clouds stepped out with his hands up.

"Aha! So THERE you are! Who are you!" The leader demanded.

"Um…I'm not sure I'm supposed to say…"

"Shut up! I don't give a damn! Who are you!"

"Um…Tobi?"

"Tobi, huh? Ha! Sounds like a pretty pathetic name to me!"

"Haha. Tobi wouldn't know…" Tobi laughed uneasily.

"And what's with that?"

"With what?" Tobi asked innocently.

"Talking about yourself like that! What else!"

"Oh, haha," Tobi rubbed the back of his shoulder. "It's just Tobi's way of talking."

"Well cut it out!"

Tobi shut his mouth.

"Enough chit chat, what are you doing here?"

"Um…standing?"

"I can see that! I mean what are you up to!"

"Collecting apples!" Tobi brightened up suddenly.

"I highly doubt that. Why were you hiding?"

"Because Tobi didn't know who was coming! Tobi thought it might be some dangerous Anbu Black Ops or a Shinobi squad!"

"Well! Haha! You're in luck! We may not be bound by such idiotic rules as those pathetic Shinobi, but we are just as dangerous I assure you…" The man grit his teeth with a sly smile. The others had similar looks.

"Oh. Haha. I see…" Tobi laughed. "But I still don't think you're that dangerous," Tobi replied happily.

Immediately all the outlaws faces turned into ones of anger.

"Oh…So we're not dangerous _are _we?" The leader spoke dangerously low.

"Um…no?" Tobi asked, confused.

_Why do they want to be dangerous? _He thought.

"Well then! Looks like we'll just have to prove it to you! HEYA!"

The leader immediately lunged at Tobi who gasped as the man went right through him and landed headfirst on the tree behind Tobi.

Tobi turned to him quickly. "Oops, hehe."

The man growled up at Tobi and immediately sent him another punch that once again went right through the Akatsuki member, followed by Tobi smacking him with his whip.

"OW! Son of a-"

"Boss!" One of the others asked. "You okay?"

"Shut up you idiots and get him!"

"Right!" They said in unison.

"Oh no! I'm outnumbered!" Tobi squealed as he immediately dodged every attack they threw at him. "Ah! Ah! Ah!" He yelled as the attacks got just close enough to rub against his cloak.

_I better get going soon and get Deidara back to safety! I guess I'll have to find a way to escape!_

"Will you hold still for one minute!" The leader cried, throwing another punch at Tobi, who avoided it.

_Hmmm…That might work…_

Just as one of the other men was about to hit Tobi he disappeared under the ground.

"What the-" the man stopped abruptly. Suddenly Tobi popped up from underneath the man and hit him with a punch at his closest target.

"GAHHH!" The man howled in pain as he dropped to the ground.

"You'll pay for what you did to him!" The girl yelled angrily as she speedily came toward Tobi. Just in time Tobi went underground and popped up behind her with a hit to a major nerve, sending her to the ground.

"Tobi got two down!" Tobi cried happily.

"Urrrr…Let's attack him at the same time boss! When he reappears he can only get one of us while the other attacks him from behind!" The last man whispered to his boss.

"Sounds like a plan. You let him get you. Then I'll come up from behind."

"Right."

The two men raced toward Tobi who, once again, as soon as they came close, went underground.

_Here he comes…_The lead grinned.

However, as they both waited, Tobi did not reappear.

The man looked around nervously as the leader looked around too, with a look of great aggravation on his face.

"Come out coward!" He yelled.

"Righteo!" Tobi's voice called from out of nowhere as both men suddenly felt themselves pulled underground.

"Ahhh!" They yelled as their entire bodies, except for their heads which stuck out of the dirt, were underground, while Tobi stood next to them.

"Haha. Well Tobi has to go now. Be good!" He said, and with that pranced off.

"Get back here!" The leader shouted, but stopped abruptly as he coughed out all the sand in his mouth, as did the other.

Meanwhile Tobi grabbed Deidara from behind the tree and was running across the tree branches toward their destination. Tobi looked down at his Sensei's still form. He was even paler than before.

"Don't worry Deidara. Tobi will get you back in no time!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Deidara's Bad Day**

_By ilovemyboys_

Chapter 4: Stitch Up!

**Authors Note**: Last chapter! Don't worry I have a reaaaally long and wonderful story that hopefully didn't get erased when my computer crashed!

* * *

As Tobi raced through the tree branches as fast as he could, he finally could see the outlines of the hidden Akatsuki hideout in stone.

"Yay! We made it Sensei!" He cried as he jumped down the trees and headed toward the entrance. Upon reaching it he performed the secret Jutsu to get in with the correct hand signs as the hidden door opened. Then, as he ran through, the door closed behind him.

Gasping from all the running, Tobi slowed down to a jog as he carried his Sensei toward Kakuzu's room. Stopping in front of it he knocked loudly on the door.

"**What is it?"** Kakuzu growled irritably from the other side.

"Kakuzu! Deidara needs you to put his arm back on!" Tobi cried frantically.

There was a grumble of annoyance on the other side, followed by footsteps as the S-rank missing-nin opened the door and gazed down at Tobi and Deidara.

"What did he do this time?" He growled.

"Um…I'm not sure…but…he lost a lot of blood and needs his arm put back on!"

"Fine. Bring him in here," he muttered in irritation.

"Oh thank you Kakuzu!"

"Shut up."

As Tobi followed Kakuzu into his room, Kakuzu pointed to a solid bed.

"Put him on here," he ordered.

Tobi placed Deidara gently on the bed and handed Kakuzu Deidara's arm, then stepped away as Kakuzu looked him over.

Tobi, feeling a bit bored, looked around the Akatsuki Treasurer's room.

_Kakuzu sure has some interesting tools on his wall! _Tobi thought, as he held up a finger to touch the edge of-

"**Don't touch that," **Kakuzu warned as he still worked on Deidara. Tobi immediately pulled back.

Why he even bothered to warn him, he didn't know. He would have liked to see that creepy masked wannabe get hurt without him even doing anything.

Kakuzu muttered under his breath as he began stitching up Deidara's arm.

…...

"_Ohhhh…" _Deidara moaned.

Tobi immediately brightened up at hearing his Senpai wake up and rushed over to his side.

"Senpai! Senpai!"

**"Be quiet Tobi,"** Kakuzu warned. He really didn't like dealing with over the top, exuberant people. Especially since he had to deal with Hidan every day...

"Oh right! Tobi will be quiet! Shhh…" Tobi whispered to himself.

**_DEIDARA'S POV: _**

_Oh man…I feel like crap…_

I groaned at the nauseating pain I felt. My arm felt surprisingly better than before. I wanted to scream at that pain earlier but Tobi was nearby…

"**Deidara."** I heard a cold, deep voice speak nearby and slowly opened my eyes to see Kakuzu looming over me.

"Heeey Kakuzu…" I smiled slightly. "You put my arm back on?"

"**Both **of them. Since you managed to loose **both** your arms."

"So Zetsu did find it?" I asked excitedly. I knew it would take some time to retrieve it but this soon was great!

"Kakuzu, you're the man. Thanks."

"**Don't let it happen again,"** he warned.

"I got it, I got it," I replied coolly. "So uh…how much can I move my arms?"

"As much as you like. But if you don't want them stitched up again I'd lay off using them much at tall for at least a week."

"Huh!" I grumbled. _We'll see…_

"Senpai!...Senpai!... Senpai!" I just registered Tobi had been calling my name this whole time.

"What, Tobi?" I asked, already starting to feel exhausted.

"You're alright! Tobi is soooo glad Senpai!"

"Yeah…" I mumbled.

"Tobi has an idea!"

"I hate to think of what that might be…" I said in a low voice.

_Seriously. I hate to think of it. _

"A "Deidara's Arms Are Back On" Party!"

Kakuzu and I both gave him a look saying, _Don't even think about it. _

"Alright, alright. Tobi understands!" Tobi laughed with his hands up in surrender.

"Get up when you can,"Kakuzu ordered as he got up and left.

I nodded and laid my head back down on the bed.

I must still be suffering from blood loss, cuz as I saw Tobi leave, I could have sworn he had a skip in his beat and a mischievous giggling as he left.

_No way would be try and actually make that party a reality. I'd be the laughing stock of the group. But not before I'd kill Tobi. _

_Ah well…I know he wouldn't dare do it…_

A sudden fear came over me.

_Would he?_

**THE END!**


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